Liars, Scandals and Trolls! Oh my!

by Bigmeanie Bitchywik

Professional journalist

Relationship Examiner

Martini drinker

Mean girls club president

Dedicated to Bunny and Sammie 

Meanie is a professional reporter and journalist. And not just for the Examiner. Do not ask her to prove it though, or she might get snarky. She has way more professional journalist reporter research experience than you do, so don't even go there or she will write an article about you or maybe even block you on Twitter. She writes even more professionally now than when she was writing in junior high school and wrote a front page headliner about prom night, exposing the truth about what Suzie Jenkins and Fred Johnson were doing under the bleachers. It was a big deal because everybody thought Suzie was dating Bobby Williams. 

As a senior, Meanie was praised by all when she penned her shocking exposé on the school bake sale. It was a heart-wrenching tale of how top-seller Darla Jones was in fact eating the cookies she had claimed to have sold, and paying for them herself.

During that time, in addition to covering local and school rumors, one time when it was election night Meanie volunteered to answer the phone and watch the elections on TV with some other volunteers. It was an excellent opportunity to get some dirt on the local community and politicians.

Now, she has 45 followers on Facebook and her professional famous articles are published professionally in a whole lot of real professional journalist reporter columns that are read by thousands of beloved readers and followers in lots of really big magazines and many other important professional publications. She is a professional journalist and experienced reporter with her own blog and everything. Everybody is jealous because she is so professional.

In her spare time, Meanie collects gossip on all the other moms in the PTA to ensure her eigth consecutive term as School Council Chair in her son's elementary school and investigates political buzz that will guarantee her personal gain.

Meanie loves hearing story ideas from her readers and re-tweeting everybody on Twitter because it is easier to quote what other people said than to actually write anything.



Important notice: don't believe everything you read : http://www.examiner.com/Terms_of_Use.html

Click below on 'Read more' to link to my latest professional article!

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Classy ladies discussing things: 

A tour of Meanie's world

Liars, Scandals, and Trolls! Oh my!

Thanks to all the drama that was stirred  up by a confirmed humble and professional journalist reporter with noble intentions, we can report and humbly present to you a screen shot of this Examiner's top ranks in the rag-mag universe of examining relationships in the Examiner.  As tweeted on Twitter, 

“i'm so humble! I'm #1! Look at me!"

 A new headline can do a lot for old news. It is also an intelligent move to confuse the audience, such that it requires one to read and re-read in order to follow ideas presented. By filling up as many pages as possible with as many words as possible, including quotes of stuff other people said, this Examiner was able to increase traffic time spent on our page by 1000%. As reported in Wikipedia,

“Examiner.com now bases compensation on variables such as page view traffic and session length." 

In regards to this, Wiki has also been quoted in the comments section of another unmentionable blog as saying, 

“Examiner.com claims it tells contributors that they should not consider this full-time employment, and tries to be very clear and transparent that this isn’t a ‘quit your day job’ opportunity.”

Time magazine corroborates Wikipedia's definition by saying, 

“The Examiner.com does little actual journalism. It is not a news organization...They also have very little news value."

Although the Examiner is a huge and growing network of correspondents connected via the internet and social media, Time magazine goes on to criticize by telling us,

“Generally, an Examiner.com news story is a compendium of tidbits culled from other websites, neither advancing the story nor bringing any insight."

But this Examiner begs to differ. Draw your own conclusions.

As previously reported by numerous sources, this increased traffic driven by breaking a scandal on another blogger covering the same high-profile trial significantly increased the rank of this Examiner, both in the Examiner community and across the globe. This is only logical, if you take into account what Time magazine has summated,

“You might also call them traffic hounds: because thier remuneration is set by, among other things, the number of people who click on their stories. Examiners will often piggyback on hot news or oft-searched people."

This Examiner however did not and would not ever do that. This Examiner is simply shocked at this preposterous impossibility.

Several former Meanie followers and traitors have been haggled to the best of the Meanie club's ability. They seemed to believe the breaking story and to enjoy reading additional professional journalism by this Examiner in the beginning, but were later suspected of doubting motives when they wrote on her comments page and on social media,

“This smacks of underhandedness and bad form. Surely there was a better way to address this than by putting it smack in the middle of the Jodi Arias trial. Who benefits from these assertions?"

“WOW! I am seriously glad i dont have any friends like you, Meanie."

“I don't consider this scamming. You can still read her content without paying. Plus her writing is hysterically funny."

“I don't care about the personal crap...Meanie to me now looks like a jealous brat...it all screams of the cyber bullying theme to me."

“I have really grown tired of the 'professionals' who are writing this tabloid journalism. You have proof, so what...she has proof. Who's side do we take on this?"

“Yesterday Kelly was a rich Canadian banker. today she is a stalker from the States. U R NUTS!"

“What a clusterf--k piece in all respects. Examiner, you should be embarrassed."

“Your words further identify your intention as being one of ill will rather than the purveyor of truth."

“I didn't even finish reading this article. It's way too long and annoying."

“Suprised at you, this is a bunch of ridiculous nonsense, and you buy into it? Or are you part of the cause of the visciousness?"

“I don't care about anybody's personal business...i thought this was about the trial!"

“What the HELL is wrong with you? Don't you have anything else to write about? A slow news day? How about ISIS?"

(Note to self: Oh yeah, ISIS! Good idea)

“If your intentions were truly to help others and not yourself it could have been handled very differently in my opinion."

“No one in their right mind would send private and personal documents to a stranger, let alone someone who is basically extorting them."

“I'm not passing judgement until all the facts are in, and there are still many unanswered questions."

“Does it matter? Nobody forced people to donate! Kelly is an excellent writer and that's what I care about. Give it a rest!"

“Of all the "articles" you've written this has to be the worst, short on fact, long on hearsay, assumption and rumor, mean, ridiculous and poorly written, along with all the copied parts thrown together willy nilly. You should be ashamed."

“I suggest the author go have her hormones checked. Way too much bad info being spewed in her articles lately..."

These "people" were dealt with accordingly with spit and venom and shown the nearest exit by this Examiner. Though they all had different screen names, three of our sources have confirmed that anyone who disagrees with this Examiner and anyone else who complains are all just one person working under many aliases anyway.

Another tactic this Examiner used to own the haters without losing ranking stats was to piss off as many people as possible and to keep them engaged by challenging them to defend their ideas, and oftentimes, their identity. This is an art that I have mastered, my dear, lmao. Here is a collection of this Examiner's classiest and most intelligent professional journalist quotes that inspire conversation and debate, for your enjoyment,

“Lol they give redundant a whole new meaning lol. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. Lol." 

“Lmao @ eat dung and die lolol"

“no, 'Dog' girl. That did not happen."

“Thus it seems many fingers...are still pointing fingers."

“That's interesting. Not really, Creeper."

“You can find my answer in the Nunyabizness file."

“You really should check yourself or your meds or something."

“A retweet is just a retweet it is not an endorsement!"

“Wanna know why she promoted me? So her work could get shown to my thousands of followers."

“You guys need to get a grip. You are ALL showing yourselves to be fools."

“Don't care what you think."

“More like a really, really dumb question."

“This is in no way a win for me, mark my words"

Kelly, Meanie, Sammie and Bunny : the good old days

It is also noted that it has been reported that there were some top secret alliances happening. We have received information that corroborates the experiences of this source. Not everyone jumped on the bandwagon right away, thus the Travis Alexander camp was divided. A mysterious tweet exchange was spotted just after the news of my professional article broke,

“Follow me for a minute...re:kelly"

“I thought i was already following you lol Ok cool, DM me :) then delete this, k?"

Twitter is not the only place weird shit is happening. One particular Facebook page is obviously taking sides. This same page slings juvenile insults at other pages that also support Travis Alexander. Other pages are beginning to do the same.

Why so much hate? Why is everyone all up in everyone else's business? Why is everyone all up in everyone else's face in such a nasty way? Because me! That's why! I am so proud of myself.

Only the actual real professional and extremely good-looking respectable journalists and cool kids are keeping quiet. No gossip mill for them. Karas, Wild, Kinsey, Lindstrom, CC, Jen, Gold, Hayden, the list goes on. They are too classy to get publicly involved in my personal games. Dammit! This Examiner needs to get them to speak up! Oh nevermind, I've already gotten the ball rolling, it's a done deal. Have any of you ever read the children's book Mr. Peabody's Apples by Madonna? I have strewn those feathers all over town.

Et tu, Brute?

As it turns out, this Examiner is running out of options so it an important strategy to start accusing guests and visitors of being someone they are not. Even better is to accuse them all of being the same person. As Buddy the Elf would say, 

“That's my favorite!"

 This Examiner must try to get you to hate that blogger too. That is why I am still going on about it.

“A reader told me today that she has discovered since this came out that on kellys birthday the man in her life and the kids made her lasagna and cake"

How fucked up is that? A woman had lasagna on her birthday. Enquiring minds want to know!

Anyway, this Examiner is losing her composure. It has been known to happen before.

My trump card is to compare that other blogger with the murderer in this trial, because having a PayPal button for totally voluntary donations to ensure content on a blog is just as bad as stabbing somebody 29 times, slitting his throat ear to ear, and shooting them in the face. Really. If you are not convinced of that, then this Examiner must at the very least get readers to believe that the afore-mentioned blogger is working together with the infamous SW, or that maybe she is SW incognito. I cannot prove it and I don't want to lose my job over this bitch, but I have to convince people, so it is a delicate matter. As this Examiner stated in various comments to guests from another of my professional articles, 

“Do you know how many people have compared her to Jodi Arias since she came out? it really is textbook Arias."

“She i guess thinks she is too good to show that proof. Whatever. Sounds a lot like some other person we know who keeps forgetting to bring their evidence to court, no?

“Notice nobody has said she's not working with them. Nobody has refuted that. Interesting, no?"

“You do know Kelly's reading all these comments. She's really jealous of us. Doesn't that sound like someone else we know with the initials SW?"

At least one of our readers thinks they are the same person, and another reliable source corroborates this anonymous individual's claim, so make sure to retweet that and get the word out. This Examiner finds that interesting. Draw your own conclusions about that.

This Examiner doesn't care what you think, or even if you think, as long as you keep coming and you keep clicking. Also praising me is required or I will take you down.  

As for you-know-who, no matter how hard this Examiner and her club of mean girls try to prod her into saying something I can write about, all we have been able to gather from our best researcher, Sammie, (who I endorse 100%) is that on that blog she had the nerve to say,

“Please you all. I don’t want anyone calling Meanie out, or saying mean things about her or whatever. Please. She hurt me very badly because I really thought she was my friend. I have learned my lesson and I am leaving it at that. I will not be retaliating...I’m not like that. I refuse to be like that. Like I said, the blog will remain. I will remain. I will write and it will be here for whoever remains with it. I love you guys and thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt."

Court will resume for the Jodi Arias trial on Monday. This Examiner will be sure to write a professional article on the proceedings a few days after everyone else does.

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Editors note:
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this blog (even those based on real people) are entirely fictional. Except when they aren't. And except for the quotes from everybody, including Meanie herself, and Wiki, and Time magazine, those are legit. If you happened to post on Meanie's comments page, check it out! "Mentioned! <3"

P.s. Thank goodness I took screenshots & finished this over the weekend, since comments have now disappeared! 
Love, trial watcher Carmen Geditt